Posted by The Dating Doc on Tuesday, March 2, 2010 Under: post-dating
This is always difficult and never easy stressing both your emotional and social interactions. Today I'm going to share with you something very VERY close and personal.
I'm going to share with you something that is very close to me and has played a big role in my relationships with woman over the last years. The Social Foundation focuses solely on being able to get many opportunities with beautiful women and then choose which one you want to get into a relationship with.
If you plan to live this lifestyle you also have to manage the difficult aspects of this which is the Breaking up. It's much easier getting into a relationship then having a clean break.
No matter how you plan the break up somebody always gets hurt. It can be managed to minimize the pain and emotional toll it will play on the both of you. Personally I have had 3 serious (1 year +) relationships in the past 5 years along with various periods of Dating chaos with multiple women.
Each girlfriend was different and unique: personalities, emotional maturity but they all shared the same commonalities when it came to the break up.
***This is blog is to help you find the relationship you want***
Read at your own discretion because it's about to get juicy!!!
Assumptions
- You want to break up with your girlfriend
- You already broke up with your girlfriend
- You want this knowledge for a later date
- Same Rules apply if she broke up with you
The first girlfriend we grew apart over time. She was attractive, intelligent but the Chemistry in the Relationship was just not right at all. But I loved her and I still do but as a friend.
I wasn't well balanced in my life at the time with business, socializing, family and emotionally. I really didn't know what I wanted at the time only that life was better with a girlfriend at my side.
So girl 1 – Chemistry was lost after the first two years after we moved in with each other so we o broke up but remain good friends. This was a difficult time for me because I would always think about her until I prepared myself for Dating again.
The second girlfriend was AMAZING. A beautiful girl and I just got swept up in how amazing she was. We both wanted the best for each other but she was pursuing a medical degree at the time and our relationship started to suffer as we spent less time together. After several months of not seeing much of each other only in the evenings I was growing angry over the situation. We lived together but it felt like we weren't a couple she was married to her schooling and there was no balance. By now I made a decision that this wasn't the life I wanted and it was time to move on. We had a great time together our own little world. It was a difficult time but it lead to something greater on the pasture so to speak.
This lead me to a career that I never thought of a "Dating Coach" until my friends and their friends started to ask me how I was getting so many dates. We went out the same amount of time but I was successful and they were not. My background in Sales lead to a proven method to get many dates and then find a girlfriend that I like the best out of the group. People started to approach me so I could help them figure out there New Dating Life and here we are today.
This started with a Boot Camp Fast forward to 2006. I decided to take a year off and pursue my passion of helping others present themselves. I went out four nights of the week and had one of the best times of my life traveling to Europe, Asia, South America but I loved Dating in San Francisco because it is difficult but the payoff was going to be big.
Going to Clubs & Bars was never my intention for meeting women. Women # 1 & 2 were met through Business or Private Party. At a Birthday Party that is where I met gorgeous number 3. Young. Stunning and just so womanly and feminine that as we spent more time together we HAD to spend more time together. Being with her was like a massive decompression from the craziness that was multiple dating, adventures and clubbing for a couple of years.
Then the calling came again. Girl # 2 wanted to get back together and we met up at a Fashion Show. It's the nervous feeling you get when you first go on a Date. The Caveat is that I took both Girl #2 and #3 to the same fashion show.
I still loved her but the thing on my mind was I am a man that has his life's work in front of him. If I am unable to do my work, how can I be a good man? and how can I even deserve a high quality woman such as girl 3?
I firmly believe that if a man is not on top of his stuff, then he doesn't deserve a high quality woman. It is like deserving unearned riches. You can trick or fool or con people into giving you money just as you can trick or fool or con a girl into you but deep down in your soul something still is not right. It is bad.
After some more fun nights in San Francisco it was time to settle down again into a relationship which is what made me most happy in the first place. Sometimes when things are going great
Surviving a break up 101
1. Don't rethink, re-live, re-count your decision or past moments together or anything. Try not to visit places that you used to frequent. The emotions will take over and who knows what you will do. Accept the decision and move on.
2. No texting. No talking. No meeting up. Nothing. It cannot be any other way. Don't go to the same parties or venues or anything.
3. Accept that there is hurt. Don't deny it and be all tough man. This will just prolong it. You are essentially a good person! So just accept that it is going to be tough for a little while and get on with it.
4. Take action. Anywhere anytime. Call a friend to meet up. Start a fitness program. Do extra work. Something. Just take action. NO WALLOWING IN YOUR BED OR LAYING AROUND.
5. Think positively. You WILL find someone else. Don't doubt yourself. You are all good, kid. This happens to everyone at some point. This is where you start to find every ounce of your natural optimism and utilize it.
6. Going and having sex with 10 more girls is not going to solve everything. TRUST ME. It is only a temporary solution and wears off after a couple of days before you go and find the next girl. So don't go all jumping in to the next relationship either. Being single is actually quite fun and cool. You get some alone time and it is much healthier on the back account too!
7. Suck it up and take it like a man. Don't talk to EVERYONE about it ALL the time and be all "depressed break up man". Think about your grandfather or father or their generation. When the tough times came they just dealt with it, they didn't talk and talk and talk about it. They dealt. This is part of being a man, being able to fight your own battles.
If you are still confused about Dating and want to CHANGE your Life Now then sign up for our Bootcamp!
.jpg)